Aggrevation and much more...

Tad left this morning about 6 and I started missing him as he was pulling out of the yard. I didn't go to school today because I didn't have a babysitter and so Brayden and I got to spend some time together. I took him to Aunt Gail around 2:15 and when Aunt Sam got out of school she picked him up for and took him home. She was going to the Ladies Night Out at Southside I think it was tonight so she brought Brayden and Oki to me at 6:15 to the dance studio. We all know that my week at dance last week was horrible and just from being there today...its going to be a much worse week! I love my girls and I would miss them very much if I weren't there, but I honestly can't take much more. It seems like everything that I do to try and help out that it doesn't matter at all. Well, I've decided to stop trying to go that "extra" mile. I will hopefully be starting my Senior year at Troy in January and I honestly don't know what my schedule will be, and I'm pretty sure that I've got to start putting my foot in the door somewhere for a job after I graduate. When I'm at school and dance during the week I feel like I have NO time for Brayden or Tad. It makes me sad because Tad understands that I'm tired, but Brayden doesn't and I'm just not used to that... The summer was great I only went to school 1 day a week and I didn't have dance...I got to spend so much time with Brayden and Tad and it felt great! Now, I just feel like I'm pretty useless because I've always got to be doing something whether it be for school or its me going that "extra" mile for dance...Brayden's asleep right now and looks soo peaceful...I wish I could sleep like that, I couldn't tell you the last time I have slept all night. The sad thing is Brayden has always slept through the night, maybe the first month of his life he got up once, but that was about it. Stress is just overtaking my life and I hate it...and I feel like I can't get rid of it. On a better note....When Tad comes home next week we are leaving for the beach for 2 days when I get out of school on Thursday and coming home on Saturday! I'm soo excited about having some time with my little family and playing on the beach ;) We thought about staying until Sunday, but I really thought about and Sunday is for being with your church family and being in the most wonderful place...God's House! Thats more important to us than being at the beach an extra day. I'm hoping to take Brayden to the gulfarium while we are down there, probably on Saturday before we come home. He's going to love it, he loves fish and its soo funny when you ask him what a fish says...I'm hoping things will get better this week...all I can do is pray...so I'm praying HARD. Well, I'm going to try and lay down with my precious boy and go to sleep...doubt it....I hope everyone has a good rest of the week! :)